Times have changed

My oh my how life is changing.

My best friend, the closest I've let anyone, my partner-in-crime, has decided that he really doesn't want to be friends anymore. It's heartbreaking. While he blames me for not "getting over" the past, he admits that he can't hang out because of the past. I believe we both need to get over it. It just hurts and sucks that we can't be friends like we have been for the past three years. It feels like my world is falling apart and my heart is breaking open with each beat it makes.

It makes me want to stay curled up in my bed for days on end, crying my eyes out while watching horrible chick flicks and eating pint after pint of Ben & Jerry's.

But I haven't. Instead I've tried to surround myself with people that really do care about me. Instead I've tried walking for hours to clear my head and keep my hand away from the cookie jar.

It's a struggle, not gunna lie. It's hard when I find myself alone and can't help but feel how hollow, how empty, how alone I feel. I'm not devastated because I fell in love with him. I'm devastated because he was my best friend, and because nothing good came out of it (we didn't start dating), he has no desire to continue a friendship. It does make me feel like I'm worthless, it makes me feel like he didn't even care about the friendship, though I know that's not true. I just can't stand to see him because when I do my heart hurts a little more than it did before.

So here I am, struggling not to take that dive into a bunch of unhealthy, unneeded food. I'm trying to be strong, but it's just so hard. I could really use some help...